Read this four thoughtful posts:
With Friends Like These...
Facebook: The End of Humanity (warning: profanity)
Why I Hate Facebook
Kent Brandenburg's Commentary on Facebook
A couple of months ago I deactivated my account only to reactivate it. Today I deleted my Facebook account.
Why did I do this? What was the last straw?
I found out on my updates page that the girl from my freshman year at college who convinced me that my first love was no good is now married to him with a child. And we had twelve mutual "friends."
There really is a reason why the past is the past.
What first drew me to Facebook?
1. I was pestered to join by a dancer friend I am no longer in contact with. We were supposed have lunch. But once I got on Facebook, those plans fizzled for some reason. Haven't heard from her in months.
2. I was seduced by the thought of reconnecting with old high school classmates and crushes.
3. I wanted to feel popular and well-liked.
4. I wanted to show off my craftiness and creativity, when really, I can do that here.
5. I wanted to stay in the loop, to feel included.
6. I wanted to compare my life with the lives of those I went to college with to see if I turned out better than them or not.
What finally convinced me to pull the plug?
1. The situation I described above. Just too much information. I could have done without it.
2. The high school mentality.
3. Nonsensical updates from people I'm not close to anyhow.
4. 95% of my "friends" were not real friends. Never were.
5. People who "friended" me but never wrote on my wall or contacted me in any way. I did the same as well.
6. I already see many of my "friends" during the week.
7. Disliked the idea of yet another third-party mediating my relationships with others.
The one good thing to come out of my Facebook stint is that I reconnected with my two best friends from college, and I'm planning on getting together with them face-to-face! That was a blessing.
What are your thoughts on Facebook and other social networking sites?
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
Why I Deleted My Facebook Account
Posted by Krystal at 3:05 PM
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50 In Stitches:
I had lots of invites to see or do stuff I didn't understand, and they were mostly from one person. It seemed like a different universe. I just didn't "get it." I left facebook - twice, as it turns out.
Wow - that was a very honest assessment! And I admire that honesty...though I never understood the lure of Facebook for adults. To me there is a reason I'm not still "friends" with the people I knew in high school so I wouldn't want to see them on Facebook...gosh, I've never been to a high school reunion either! And even though I've made several good friends via the internet...I don't need Facebook to stay in contact with them or any of my other friends.
@ Carolyn, as I already stated, I friend asked me to join (and she's older than me)--for some Christian Arts Network. The network never did anything, didn't facilitate any collaborations on my end. Then it just snow balled into what I described. I didn't go into it desiring to be the fairest of them all.
I honestly believe there is too much "alone" ... and facebook is just a way to take advantage of it (sure someone is getting rich, no doubt). It seems stupid to think that happiness can be found on these pages. Just when the "theme" of this site is "all friends", when many will not speak or their own parents.
Well did you cancel your account. I think you are a person of integrity and with a big heart and that is important.
Un abrazo, Paco
Good for you. When one feels secure and confident within themselves, one is able to make wise decisions regarding their well being. I did say you were coming into your own. Soon, you'll be able to discern what does and does not resonate with you in the blink of an eye.
Wow. Thanks for the lesson on Facebook. I've never been tempted to sign up. I feel like I share enough "information" about myself on the crafting forums and on my blog. Besides there is so much to keep track of. Now a days everything is done on the internet. I like the face-to-face friendship. They are the most rewarding.
Thanks again for sharing the information of the trappings of Facebook.
I have facebook, which I rarely use - but am happy I have it. I do not keep in touch with the "old highschool/ college crew", but have a few groups, such as the Burda sewing group that is useful. Other than that, it's a place to upload my pictures. I can't imagine why so many people are obsessed with it - but who am I to judge, since I'm an iphone junkie. lol
I don't blame you for pulling the plug after your experience.
I like my facebook, it keeps me in touch with people on a daily basis without any huge commitment such as phone calls etc. This is partly because there are some people on there who I don't necessarily want to have a deep friendship with but like to keep in touch. I like seeing how old school friends are and I only add the people I want.
WOW, I really never understood what facebook was about. Anyway thanks for sharing
@RiAnge, you sure did! I'm actually trying to find that post.
I'm deactivating mine too. I check it maybe once every two weeks and found that I can be truly content without it. There seems to be so much going to read/do on one screen, that I began to feel overwhelmed. Besides, I like face-to-face contact with friends. Seems more...personal.
I'll admit to being curious of where a few people have ended up in life...I wouldn't even mind reconnecting with one or two persons from the past. But all in all it's not enough for me to open up the whole can of worms for it...there's just too much past and too much high school for me to want to be in the thick of it again. My husband and I had a talk about this a few months back and came to the same conclusion...the negatives far outweigh the positives! It's funny how acquantainces and new friends pressure you to join though...incredulous that you'd be so opposed or out of the loop. Although if you aren't on the fence about it you won't be moved by their pleas and it will quickly pass- you'll either get together IRL or communicate by email...or the connection will fizzle. As it should!
Btw- I enjoyed the 3rd link you posted...sent it to dh :) I can't believe some of the privacy issues embroiled in this- something dh and I hadn't even thought of!
I was lured to join Facebook by numerous other email digest lists. It was more of a curiosity of what it is all about more so than anything. I go there when I think about it. But really like reading blogs and posting on my blog. It is not something that is going to take up much of my time.
I just came across your blog a few days ago and have spent some time each day up to now reading all of it. You make some wonderful garments. I really enjoyed watching your first SWAP progress. And some of your posts have been very thought provoking - Thank you.
What an awful way to find out about your ex and (ex?) friend. I succumbed to several networking sites in the past - Friendster, Orkut, Myspace, and when Facebook became big, I decided I can't handle maintaining yet another online profile!
I certainly appreciate the assessment, but I'm sorry to see it's causing others to not even consider Facebook as a tool. In the nonprofit field, I use Facebook regularly to connect with colleagues and spread the word about events. It's a simple tool that is much more engaging then emails, and with a little tweaking it provides you the amount of information you want it to.
Also, regarding #7 - Disliked the idea of yet another third-party mediating my relationships with others. I realize your emphasis on "yet another", but it's like saying you're going to disconnect your phone because it's "yet another third-party mediating... relationships". As with this wonderful blog of yours, it's merely a tool for communication and you reap what you sow with it.
Well, cool, Cameron. Keep using Facebook. More power to you.
And, in all due fairness to my readers, these are grown women (and men) who can make up their own minds in what they will be involved with. Most already made a decision either way before they ever read this post.
I have sown peace of mind and contentment through my choice.
Thanks for stopping by.
Be blessed! :-)
Sorry this brought up bad memories for you. I can totally relate. I have pretty much decided not to open a facebook account but some of me is still on the fence. For the most part, I am a private person and this whole internet world can get to be too much sometimes. Different strokes for different folks so don't feel bad about your decision.
I'm sorry to hear your crummy news. I will say that we're losing our office manager this month because she's moving to Florida to be with her new husband, a man she's known for 20 years but hadn't seen for 10 until he found her sister on FB in January. It's a pretty good story. I came to the same conclusions as you too though. I also didn't like that there were a few security holes like where friends of your friends could view your posted pics, etc. through your common friend. I was really happy to leave that high school junk behind, you know? I deactivated in late Jan. Do I need to do something additional too? I'll have to check. So, does this make us "Fans of Deactivating Facebook"? ;)
Hi, elbereth. Nice story about your office manager. You have to actually delete your account and not log in for 14 days in order for your account to become deleted. If you log in before the 14 days is up, then it reactivates.
Best wishes to you. Please stop by again!
Very interesting insight on FB. I began rethinking my use of FB after I tried to friend a person that I had come to "know" thru other social networks. She turned me down because she wanted to keep that place private for the people who actually "knew" her as the real person and not her online persona. I totally respect that! That gave me reason to rethink my own use of FB. Your honesty is appreciated.
i really liked this honest assesment of facebook, i also didnt feel it was relevant, and its just spook y to me that somewhere at anytime can decide to look me up and try to "friend" me, i didnt like how it put everything you said on "blast".
i guess its just me, maybe i am a bit antisocial LOL, well a guy i was dating told me about how he talked to friends, etc. he is very social, anyway, i didnt like how he had his status as "single" even though we were not officially together i suppose, i didnt like the flirting from a few girls i saw on the page either, i was just turned off by the hold thing, and soon after, by hiim
I signed up because my kids friended me. Do I check it? No. There are people who have friended me, but you know if they really wanted to get in touch, I still have the same phone number. I think that I am just too old to 'get it'. I don't get Twittering either. Blogs, PR, well at least the people I meet here have a lot of the same interests that I do. It's just too high school I am glad I left that back in high school!
The not-so-subtle issue is ownership. It is Facebook’s website, not yours. It is not your profile, it is Facebook’s profile about you. You only have very limited ability to contribute and only at Facebook’s pleasure. Facebook has absolute control and therefore practical ownership of everything on Facebook, including your identity, associations and relationships. It doesn’t matter what Facebook says in its TOS - they own it all anyway and can do as they please with it, period. Facebook's only “mistake” was being too honest in their TOS, they’ve since learned to lie or keep quiet. Facebook is not your friend. As a structure for social interaction privately owned social networking is worse than medaeval. Our civil rights and liberties on Facebook and the like are zero. Shut your Facebook!
I left facebook because I found so many people thought their lives were sooooo important that they had to let me know that they got a manicure.. or that today was a really warm day ! or that their dog porky was going to the vets... I mean do I REALLY CARE ( in Lewis Black voice ) I think facebook is a way for some people to feel important or significant about their lives. I mean if your unhappily married living in the suburbs and have 2 kids and a husband your no longer having sex with what better to do with your time than go on facebook ! Sheesh.. Im glad Im disconnected then my real friends will have to actually pick up the phone and call me.. I also just disconnected my text messaging on my phone so no one can text me anymore.. dont get me started on that one.
Hey, Anon,
Yes, I hate it when friends text me on a weekend when calls are free! Doesn't make any sense, does it? Might have to look into nixing the texting service myself.
ive found this blog a really interesting read, i've just deleted my account after nearly three years use due to being uncomfortable with issues with ownership and surveillance such as Leif Harmsen mentions; and the fact that the damn thing eats up so much of my time which i could be putting towards productive & creative interests.
Good luck to everyone who deletes i say. It's not "the future", there are other ways to communicate.
It was a boring, childish world of virtual kisses, virtual hugs, virtual gifts, silly games, spam...
I had requests for friendship from people I didn't know at all.
Only one person there was a friend of mine I really know all too well, but you shouldn't need Facebook to get in touch with your friends.
It is also true that a lady friend from Facebook decided to stay in touch after I left, and eventually decided to meet me in real life, but I find it wrong nonetheless, you meet people in real life and it takes years before you can talk of real friendship.
I appreciate your thoughtful post. I am also considering cancelling my Facebook account.
My experience has been that when I posted something of significance in my life, only a few(people who would keep in touch in real life as well) of the many so called friends responded. However, most seem caught up in the world of virtual gifts, "mafia wars", or other online time wasters that are on Facebook and trying to have 200+ friends. Keep in mind these are adults here.
I'd rather have real world communications with a few amazing real friends than pseudo-relationships with a bunch of fake ones.
Real friendship is what matters.
Good luck to you and thank you for the excellent blog post.
Cool post you got here. It would be great to read a bit more concerning that theme.
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Came across this post and I liked your perspective. Have steered clear of FB but am tempted now and then. Cool blog!
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I have never joined facebook and I have convinced my boyfriend to delete his profile. We had a lot of arguments about it, and it was making me feel uneasy that he had his ex girlfriend there. I have even heard stories of people breaking up because of it.
You don't keep in touch with people through facebook and anyway there are other ways that are much better.
I think that people should reflect a little bit about how it influences their lives.
I also deteted my account. facebook is pointless. texting has more substance...and hardly.
I love it ! Very creative ! That's actually really cool Thanks.
whenever I come across a post regarding facebook, I am immediately drawn to it like magnet. Facebook is a very toxic site but for those same reasons u re-joined, is why I still choose to stay on that site. So many drama and B.S. My gosh!
OMG at ur friend and ur ex...That's a low-blow, but it obviously wasn't meant to be.
SMH @ so called friends.
We women are our own worst enemies.
Hi - I deleted facebook this morning and for some reason felt compelled to search for comments on others who did, and found your blog. My reason for deleting is that it had become a distraction and time-waster and I didn't have enough self-control to keep off it! I am one of those suburban mom-of-two that one of the others commented on, except I still love my husband, lol, but I am also a grad student and do a lot of my work online. Being on the my laptop there was just way too much temptation for me to click on FB. Next thing I know 45 minutes wasted reading some high school acquaintance's wall postings, when I should have been getting my school work done. Waste of time! Several FB friends tried to dissuade me from deleting, like it was a life necessity I was giving up. My husband never liked it nor did he ever sign up, so he's glad.
I deleted my Facebook today because social networking sucks ass. F*ck you, drama, and f*ck you, Internet.
I too deactivated my account today and wondered what other past users had to say about it.
I personally found it destructive for my kind of personality. I can suffer with very low self esteem and found myself constantly checking my facebook account, making mental notes of what others (who I stupidly aspired to be like) were doing in their lives and worrying about why people hadn't written on my wall.
Until I came to the conclusion, it's bullsh*t.
It's for people with too much time on their hands who want to represent a certain side of themselves.
Well i'd much rather go out in the real world, take people for who they are on the first instance of meeting them and put the time saved to a better use!
Bin the social networking sites guys and actually go and LIVE!
I'm so glad that there are people who closed down their facebook for the same reasons as I. Exactly what everyone else has written, i was encouraged to join via a girl i knew and the previous plans we had made totally fizzled out, I felt depressed each time i checked my account, and I didn't like how everyone reads up on everyones friendships, comments, it's non-conventional and i felt that if someone wrote an inappropriate comment on my wall, it would be the end of me socially. I'm a looser anyway and now I'm trying to get a whole bunch of new friends as my old one's were not right for me and the foundations were all built on drugs. I don't ever want to see them again and would very much like to get a new phone number, my friends weren't all bad, but facebook never brought me anything but grief and and anxiety. Just another element to overcome in the technological nightmare we have created for ourselves.
I deleted mine because, like others, I was tired of virtual animals, homes, kisses, hugs, whatever. I originally joined it when I started college 4 years ago- it was an almost exclusive way of contacting fellow classmates. Now my mom uses it, go figure. Also, recently I've been unfriended by CLOSE friends for no reason. One was a dear friend that I loved very much that I had studied abroad with. Only a year after I left, he defriends me but not other mutual friends. Not only am I hurt, but I can't look back at pictures without feeling like this guy had some kind of problem with me. Great memories are permanently ruined. Wow- facebook notifies you for every little thing but when someone decides to unfriend you, we can't get any explanation for that. It's like a virtual middle finger- which people are more likely to do with the click of a button rather than face to face. Not to mention the fact that it hasn't helped to keep me in touch with friends. You can only write "I miss you" so much on a long distance friend's wall before it's old news..
Just my two cents.
Just deleted my FB account about 30 minutes ago. All the crap lately about my info being disseminated all over the planet and getting upset (why!?) when certain people skipped my friend request but accepted many others just finally pushed me over the edge. I just seriously asked myself "Can you do without this?" Of course I can. Maybe now I'll quit getting goofy emails from all over everywhere.
Cheers!
I'm very happy I found you. I deleted my 5 year old fb acconunt a week ago. The only reason is that I want real human contact. FB sucks in the end. Bye bye!
Even I permanently deleted my 2-year old FB account, and I actually feel relieved! I guess everyone has their own reasons, and I had my own.
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I deleted my facebook account a few weeks ago. I don't miss it at all. Facebook really has taken off! Even my doctor's office is on facebook. I never got involved in the farming or anything else. Above all- it's summer. I waited way to long to be stuck inside on a computer. Facebook is just chewing gum for the mind. There are much better things to do online than let other know you "like" Peanut M&M's. Me too Me too. Just silly.
Hello,
I happened upon your blog whilst searching for similar articles, after finally taking the plunge and "deleting" my own Facebook profile last weekend.
I have written a blog post that explains why I gave my Facebook profile the old heave-ho, which you can read here:
http://www.fastfingerstypingservice.com.au/2010/07/why-i-gave-my-facebook-profile-old.html.
I hope this will provide further insight to anyone else who may be thinking along these lines.
5 days on and I am feeling a bit cut-off but I am sure that will disappear as the days and weeks progress... and I do still have my Facebook Business Page, so I haven't gone far and as I have said in my blog post, the majority of my friends are connected there, as well and most of them are people that I normally e-mail.
Regards,
Denise
I'd just like to say thank you. You've clarified so much for me.
thanks for your blog. I'm so happy to have my facebook deleted, it was a real waste of time. got tired of people adding me and not writing back or me writing them and no response.
My whole thing is, the past is the past.
If you really want to seek me out, get my phone number and call me. If it's really like that, getting that information would not be hard. If it's too hard, well, we weren't meant to cross paths again anyways.
I won't have a page with my picture, my relationship status, work status, photos of my vacations... for someone I barely know to check out at a get-together with lots of people I've never met and--within 15 seconds--find out what's going on with me without me realizing it, then blurt it out to these strangers.
For those whom I wish to share things of my life, I have their numbers, I know the beer they like to drink, and where they live. Voilà , we're "friends," we get "status updates (about stuff I actually care about)," and "share"... with eye contact, voices, and laughter. Imagine that.
Zack something-or-other thinks us humans are becoming less reserved in terms of sharing personal stuff. And he's trying to stack a lot of money by making narcissism the new auto-tune.
F*%& you, dude, you won't make money off of me like that.
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